Vote Spridget For Head Opponaut!

"Spridget" (dustbustervans)
05/04/2016 at 22:21 • Filed to: None

A metaphor for my candidacy

You may have seen all of those people who are running for head opponaut. Well, I assure you, voters of the Oppo public, I am the best candidate. Many of you are now thinking “Who the hell is that guy? Is the guy who posted all of those stupid questions a few months ago?” Yes, Opponauts, that is I. You may not know me, but that is because I am an outsider. I am not part of the Oppo establishment. Now, how am I qualified? Read my impressive repertoire and weep:

-Good at posting threads that get a lot of attention without me saying much.

-Not a fan of trade deals, as anyone on LaLD whom I have forgotten to email can tell you.

-Got into an argument with Patrick George, member of the Jalop establishment, on a thread a few months back. I made myself look like a dumbass, but that won’t hurt me in the polls!

-Uses iPhone to take photos and then claim he’s a decent photographer.

-Fan of Arsenal, UNC, and the Panthers, three teams that came close to winning it all and were off by a few points! However, unlike my sports teams, I don't come close to winning it all; I get blown out by a large margin.